Jump

I went for a walk this afternoon in the brilliant cold. I was feeling rather pointless. Very pointless. (because I had nothing I so wanted, even though I have so much to be thankful for already)
Jesus came with me.
“You walk with me through fire…” –Healer
As I was walking, praying about this pointlessness.
A picture of me: standing on a precipice, a deep dark ravine is below me.
Jesus stands, arms open wide, waiting a mere frightening jump across the ravine to the opposing cliff side where He waits.
I can’t jump holding what I want. What (I think) I need. To have purpose, to be so, so happy.
A husband.
A mission.
A baby.
A home.
A country.
An ideal.
Myself even.
All of it must fall into the endless cold darkness below. To die.
But Jesus waits and can I resist?

"Trust Me." That wonderful word again, Lord?
A man, baby, missions, home of my own, adventures, change, and all such purposefulness are lovely, and would/will be very nice. But they will not satisfy. Only Jesus will. Is satisfying.
So I jump.
Tears wet my cheeks, having surrendered for the millionth time. Trusting again.
But now I’m free.
And Jesus holds me.
Oh, He loves me.
Oh I love Him.
I love Him.
This love makes it all worth it.

Coming Soon...

Cameratismo, in blog format!